But I also grew up with some stories about love that I came to see weren\u2019t so helpful. Those ideas about love bred problems in my relationships.<\/p>\n

One of those stories was: Loving someone means always being available to them. (Turns out, it\u2019s not true, and living as if it is breeds resentment.)<\/p>\n

Another was: Loving someone means always having space for what they want to talk to you about. (Turns out, not true either!)<\/p>\n

Another myth about love: If you love someone, you do what they are asking you to do, out of love, even if it feels difficult. (I can tell you, that doesn\u2019t work so well.)<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve developed my own guidelines for loving the people in my life, guidelines that express how I want to relate to the people around me.<\/p>\n

These are some of my guidelines for loving: <\/span><\/p>\n

1. Tell them about their brilliance.<\/h6>\n

They likely can\u2019t see it and they don\u2019t know its immensity, but you can see it, and you can illuminate it for them.<\/p>\n

2. Be authentic, and give others the gift of the real you and a real relationship.<\/h6>\n

Ask your real questions. Share your real beliefs. Go for your real dreams. Tell your truth.<\/p>\n