[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”3.0.48″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_video src=”https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=M8KFWXHOwxI” _builder_version=”3.19.7″][\/et_pb_video][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” _builder_version=”3.19.7″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

HOW TO FORGIVE<\/strong><\/p>\n

The New York Times<\/p>\n

By Malia Wollan<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMake sure the person whom you think wronged you is the person who wronged you,\u201d says Charles L. Griswold, a philosophy professor at Boston University. Forgiveness means abandoning anger, and that can be long, hard work \u2014 possibly a lifetime\u2019s worth. So before you embark, clearly identify perpetrator and transgression, and make sure the situation calls for forgiveness and not something else, like mercy.<\/p>\n

Despite a seemingly endless supply of self-help and religious literature that urges bountiful forgiveness, be careful about offering it up willy-nilly. \u201cDon\u2019t act in a way that condones or enables further wrongdoing,\u201d Griswold says. But take action. Studies find that anger, vengefulness and all the negative ruminations that come with not forgiving can damage the human organism, especially the heart. Indeed, so-called forgiveness interventions (essentially practice sessions) have successfully reduced symptoms in patients with coronary artery disease, chronic pain and even drug addiction.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Researchers disagree about exactly what constitutes forgiveness (though they concede that it involves \u201creducing unforgiveness\u201d). While many theologians and philosophers think it can be unilateral, Griswold holds that forgiveness should be bilateral: For a victim to truly let go of his or her anger, the perpetrator must first admit responsibility. You can ask for an apology, he says, but you won\u2019t always get one. Both parties should use direct and specific language. \u201cClarity is of the essence,\u201d Griswold says. \u201cIf you fudge what it is that you\u2019re doing, the process hasn\u2019t been successfully completed.\u201d And if the person who mistreated you is dead, has disappeared or is just an unrepentant jerk? \u201cYou have to find other ways to put aside your anger,\u201d Griswold says.<\/p>\n

Many religions teach forgiveness, but being devout is not required. Griswold has written about forgiveness<\/a> in secular contexts because he believes that forgiving is one way our species can express true moral virtue. Humans hurt one another in tiny and immense ways, over and over, but we have also worked out this simple \u2014 yet sometimes profoundly difficult \u2014 act to free one another from some impact of that harm.<\/i><\/p>\n

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“If we really want to LOVE we must learn to FORGIVE”
\nMother Teresa . FORGIVE image .Cayme via Deviant Art<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1406,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"

<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

HOW TO FORGIVE<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

The New York Times<\/p>\r\n

By MALIA WOLLAN<\/span><\/p>\r\n

\u201cMake sure the person whom you think wronged you is the person who wronged you,\u201d says Charles L. Griswold, a philosophy professor at Boston University. Forgiveness means abandoning anger, and that can be long, hard work \u2014 possibly a lifetime\u2019s worth. So before you embark, clearly identify perpetrator and transgression, and make sure the situation calls for forgiveness and not something else, like mercy.<\/p>\r\n

Despite a seemingly endless supply of self-help and religious literature that urges bountiful forgiveness, be careful about offering it up willy-nilly. \u201cDon\u2019t act in a way that condones or enables further wrongdoing,\u201d Griswold says. But take action. Studies find that anger, vengefulness and all the negative ruminations that come with not forgiving can damage the human organism, especially the heart. Indeed, so-called forgiveness interventions (essentially practice sessions) have successfully reduced symptoms in patients with coronary artery disease, chronic pain and even drug addiction.<\/p>\r\n

Researchers disagree about exactly what constitutes forgiveness (though they concede that it involves \u201creducing unforgiveness\u201d). While many theologians and philosophers think it can be unilateral, Griswold holds that forgiveness should be bilateral: For a victim to truly let go of his or her anger, the perpetrator must first admit responsibility. You can ask for an apology, he says, but you won\u2019t always get one. Both parties should use direct and specific language. \u201cClarity is of the essence,\u201d Griswold says. \u201cIf you fudge what it is that you\u2019re doing, the process hasn\u2019t been successfully completed.\u201d And if the person who mistreated you is dead, has disappeared or is just an unrepentant jerk? \u201cYou have to find other ways to put aside your anger,\u201d Griswold says.<\/p>\r\n

Many religions teach forgiveness, but being devout is not required. Griswold has written about forgiveness<\/a> in secular contexts because he believes that forgiving is one way our species can express true moral virtue. Humans hurt one another in tiny and immense ways, over and over, but we have also worked out this simple \u2014 yet sometimes profoundly difficult \u2014 act to free one another from some impact of that harm.<\/i><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n